Relationships are probably the single most interesting thing that I’ve ever spent time researching. After speaking with a large number of people who have managed to sustain their marriages across multiple decades, here are some of the things that I believe will make a marriage last:

• Actively support your spouse in his or her goals. Not all of your goals will be the same but you should get excited about them all anyway. If your spouse mentions a desire to get a Doctor of Health Education someday, don’t just smile and nod; start looking up Health Management Schools to help make that happen.
• Point your finger at yourself. It’s easy to gripe about all of the things that a spouse does that irritate you. It’s also easy to ruin a marriage this way. Whenever you’re unhappy with something in the relationship, turn that finger back on yourself and figure out what you can do to solve it without blaming the other person.
• Appreciate the little things. Partners who take the time to enjoy the little things with each other each day are partners who last over time. Savor your coffee together. Go for walks. Remember to laugh.

It doesn’t actually take a lot to make a marriage last even though it can seem difficult at times. Making these few items the goals of your life can make a big difference in how well things go for you and your spouse.

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